So far today has been odd, woke up pissed off at my alarm clock/mobile phone because it woke me up at 7 I think, but the second alarm for 7.30 didn't go off. So, I got up at 12pm instead, after all waking up at 9am has meant it was too late to go to uni and get a good space for me and my laptop to settle down for the day. Then I became very empty and emotionless (see the previous post) for a good few hours. After that, I'm not really sure what happened, I think I just drifted about my flat getting dressed etc for my class at 4pm. I did however have a successful chat with a fellow BPD sufferer, and just reminded them that I'm not going anywhere, and nothing they can do will scare me away! A lot of truth was spoken over facebook chat, and hopefully we both feel better for it.
At uni now, in the common study room for our class, I feel quite accepted. We are sitting here together, but separately at the same time, and it's pleasant. I still don't feel motivated to actually do some work on my dissertation, but being out of the flat is enough for now.
The class, being on suicide, obviously wasn't a happy time as such, but I find it interesting, especially the statistics. I'm not going to re-iterate them, I can't be arsed. I feel like my opinion is valued there, especially since admitting I have BPD, so they know that whatever they are talking about, I have probably experienced it first hand at some point in my life. Being final year psychology students, you kind of have to expect some level of knowledge and acceptance anyway!
Finally, I got a phone call from the psychiatrist's secretary this afternoon, and I have an appointment for thursday around lunchtime...
...YIPPEEEE!
I haven't been forgotten about! Always a wonderful feeling! So naturally I went through to the living room and kissed the rabbit lol.
Toodle-oo!
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